a toast to bravery & grief.

So, I have been working on a new project with personal goals in mind. My subject is my immediate family, presently I am focusing solely on my parents. There are so many unanswered questions that I have which relate to my families past and possibly to my future; everyday I email my mother and father several questions to which they respond in lengthy paragraphs explaining their history and the story I am so thirsty to know. I plan to edit, combine and create a collection of solid material, with the intention to publish it in the end. My mother has told me how much excitement and joy she has already gotten out of this project; stating that she has had to even call extended family members in order to get the correct information. My father, who I sternly believe will participate as soon as the time is right, has not answered any of my questions thus far; but perhaps this is for the best, because it allows me to concentrate on my mother and not get confused with who's who and et cetera. I believe the photographers Sally Mann & Jock Sturges inspired this project, along with my natural curiosity to know the truth. Both artists seem to really concentrate on the people close to them, searching and digging deep into the familiarity, while all along the first thing I feel that I am so inclined to do is find the unknown, the unrelated- hoping somewhere down the lines I will find the connection and it will rock my boat, so to speak. It's interesting why I push outside the lines, when inside it is just as beautiful and new. I feel that this project has been waiting for me all my life. I feel a deep sensation to dive into it, I can only hope that I do it right. There are so many hidden secrets and foreign stories just waiting to be exposed; I fear my time is running out, and soon that these answers will be buried, along with the ones I dearly love. As the project continues, I will post my findings for suggestions, comments, and so forth. Here is a photograph of my great-grandparents on my fathers side I believe:

Blase Augustus Bonpane (AKA Biagio Buonpane), Florence Immacolata Marcoguiseppe

On another note, I was given a handout last Monday titled, "A Selection of Semiotic Terms & Definitions" from my Critical Writing professor. At first I was completely overwhelmed with its context, but the further I explored, the more I really feel in love with it. Here is an example: Critique: "a form of reflection whose proximate aim is critical consciousness; an awareness of truly what's what, and whose who; ultimate goal is liberation..." I find that to be truly beautiful. And whereas before I usually would fear critique, I feel that I now what to embrace it. Do you know what I mean? It's one of the best feelings in the world when you can appreciate what you once thought was scary, or at least I think so. It's liberating, really.